There are 13 houses on our cul-de-sac. They are all beautiful houses. At Christmastime the homeowners go all out. It’s the type of street I used to seek out. I used to love driving around looking at Christmas lights. I used to judge harshly the homeowners in the gorgeous neighborhoods who didn’t participate in all the merriment.
This year my house is the dark house on our street.
As a child my year circled around Christmas. It truly was the most wonderful time of the year.
In our family, Thanksgiving was just Christmas warm-up. We always gathered at my grandparents’ house. We feasted until we hurt and then laid around talking about what we would eat at Christmas. There was always conversation about whether we would forgo the turkey and just have ham. We could never agree and always ended up having both. Also, added to the Christmas feast were homemade goodies. Each family was in charge of several treats. By the time everyone arrived, the dining room table was covered 3 or 4 tins deep.
I remember watching my parents try to pack the car to take the hour and a half drive to my grandparents’ house at Christmas. Mother cooked candy and cookies for days prior to Christmas. There was fudge, Martha Washington balls, divinity, white chocolate pretzels, doo doo cookies, etc. Between all of the tins of goodies and presents there wasn’t one square inch of space left in the trunk of the car. There were some years we even had to hold presents inside the car too. It was my very favorite day of the year. It was the perfect cherry on top of every year of my childhood.
As an adult, the magic of it all is gone. I honestly don’t care for all of the hoopla of Christmas. It hurts too much. Everything reminds me of what has been lost.
It snowed last weekend. I nested in the recliner downstairs. I watched Hallmark Christmas movies and watched it snow. I took a break and made snicker-doodle cookies and ate warm cookies with milk. I had hoped to feel something I could call Christmas spirit. It didn’t happen. It was all for naught. I hadn’t even put up a tree. I had bought no presents. I wanted to skip it. I just couldn’t manage to feel any happy about the holidays. With each passing year I have felt more and more like Dr. Seuss’ Grinch or Dickens’ Scrooge. I can identify with them. I wish I didn’t.
I SO wish to feel once again the magic of Christmas. I want the perfect cherry on top of my adult years.
I was sharing these feelings with a friend this week. She asked me a great question. She asked, “What would help you want to celebrate the birth of Jesus?” It turned out to be just the right question. One of the issues I have had for a long time is the split personality of Christmas. I have had trouble reconciling the strong secular Santa Claus consumerism drive of the holiday with the real reason for the season. Christmas has become a real muddy holiday for me with regard to its meaning.
For a while now I have been on a personal journey to discover and/or be reminded of who I was created to be. I thought back to the Christmases I loved so much as a child. I also remembered some Christmases as a young adult that felt as they should. I managed to find a thread to grasp that was strong enough to drag me to a place in the present from which I could re-frame how I feel about Christmas.
There are two things in common with every Christmas that I ever enjoyed.
One is the lights: lights on trees, in yards, on houses, intertwined in gorgeous wreaths and decorations. They make me feel warm. I was reminded that Jesus is the light of the world. John 8:12 New American Standard Bible (NASB) Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” The lights draped from seemingly every place are such a beautiful reminder of such a powerful purpose. What a wonderful reason to celebrate Jesus’ birth!
The second common factor has to do with how Christmas has always offered opportunity for me to let my creative juices flow. The truth is I am a creative person. I love to wrap presents. All the colors, patterns, ribbons, and bows make me happy. I also love to work with themes, write stories, and create experiences for others at Christmas. I haven’t really flexed my creativity in a few years. A loved one reminded me just last night of a Christmas 3 or 4 years ago where I had a friend crochet character hats for 12 people and I wrote a story that tied all the characters together. It had every type of character including an octopus, a unicorn, 2 dinosaurs, Spiderman and Wolverine. On Christmas day as each character unwrapped the hat he or she put it on and read that character’s part of the story. It was great fun. I was reminded that I was created with a purpose and endowed with gifts useful to the Kingdom of God. Hebrews 12:1-3 New International Version (NIV) Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Jesus came to free me. He came to make it possible for me to accomplish what I was created for. What a wonderful reason to celebrate Jesus’ birth!
This week, with the help of my daughters, I managed to put up the Christmas tree, and light the house. Our house no longer looks out of place in the neighborhood. And…. I feel a renewed sense of joy and merriment when I think of Christmas. The “light lookers” who drive by can be pleased. I am also pretty sure that Jesus is pleased.
I will endeavor to remember in Christmases to come what I have discovered this year.
What would help you want to celebrate Jesus’ birth?
